Forty Smith

Forty Smith is a writer, bookworm, and a homeschooling mother of four.

Busy Being For Something

One of my favorite lines is from Fr. Patrick Peyton, an Irish American immigrant who hosted a long-running radio and TV show dedicated to promoting family prayer. He's best known for his slogans "the family that prays together stays together," and "a world at prayer

What the "It's All Labor" Battle Misses

Embattled women everywhere are clawing back recognition that rearing children and making home is hard, valuable work, and that they do need real rest. (Predictably, there is a type of guy in the comments trolling these women with tired, sexist accusations, typically fantastical, such as "my wife sits at

Beta testing Our Deprogramming Journal

Edited to add: We are in the process of contacting the testers chosen. The form at the bottom has been disabled. Just like computers can have bad code or a virus that infects their code, so too can our minds contain false and counterproductive ideas. The cosmetics industry is rooted

What am I supposed to do if my partner hates body hair or "heavily prefers" me with makeup/hair dye?

This can be tough, depending on the nature of the partnership, and the partner in particular. For us, if we were dating someone who hated our natural body/face, that would be immediate breakup territory. Inside a marriage, that's a difficult situation, and the extent to which it

What if I become even more invisible if I don't comply?

What if? And what if you find that you naturally repel worthless attention and attract people who like the real you? What if you learned to take up space without feminine performance? "Excuse me, I wasn't finished." "Hold on, let me finish." "That&

How am I supposed to accept things that are literally damage to my body?

(e.g. broken nose, botched c-sections, scarring or burns from accidents) Assuming you can't, won't, or shouldn't repair the damage (see our post regarding treating disfigurements), it looks like you are going to live with this condition. If you choose, that can be a

Do you feel totally comfortable in your natural state? How long did that take?

Helen: In my early adult life, I fully conformed to beauty standards and developed very ingrained habits that were difficult to break. I can say that I've made a complete recovery, and have weathered several visible illnesses with aplomb. It took me four years to recover from hair

You're conventionally attractive white women, what about people who don't have your privilege?

This one is more of an accusation than anything else, but it comes up a lot. Think this through: should people with "privilege" take advantage of it, even if it harms people who are currently disadvantaged by the system? Or should they show solidarity with their fellow human

Why not try to look ugly?

This question is rooted in a profound confusion over our purpose with the work we do. We are not fighting beauty, but the ever-escalating, insane, unnatural beauty standards inflicted on women by a capitalistic system that seeks to make women insecure so they buy "solutions" to mostly invented

Are corrective surgeries that "improve" one's appearance OK?

If someone has a surgery to fix a real problem and a side effect is that they look better afterwards, fine. This is what is called a "secondary effect," and is typically morally neutral if the primary effect is moral. Obviously someone's real motivation might be

Is it wrong to wear a bra?

Sometimes people ask if it's wrong to wear a bra, especially when it "improves" the shape/look of their breasts. There is often the caveat that wearing a bra is genuinely more comfortable? In other words, "If my main motivation is utilitarian, should I not

Do you feel totally comfortable in your natural state? How long did that take?

Helen: In my early adult life, I fully conformed to beauty standards and developed very ingrained habits that were difficult to break. I can say that I've made a complete recovery, and have weathered several visible illnesses with aplomb. It took me four years to recover from hair

Do the people in your life accept your choice to go natural?

Some people have not blinked an eye, and others have made rude comments to us, and behind our backs. In Helen's case, one time she was helping someone take their young children to the beach and was told her leg hair was disgusting. Helen said, "I will

I am really struggling to give up [favorite beauty ritual]. Will it ever get easier?

We feel your pain! It is so hard to grow up in a culture that normalizes having texture-free skin, coiffed hair, bare legs and underarms (and bikini area), wearing restrictive/revealing clothing, having high heels as the only option for formal wear, dieting for thinness, etc., and then...not do

What's wrong with makeup?

In some cases, nothing. There are times where it makes sense for people to wear makeup, such as mimes, clowns, actors, and sometimes warriors. For people who would prefer to conceal a scar, that can make sense too. In some cultures, such as France, the women might only wear a

What's wrong with shaving/hair removal?

In theory, nothing. There are times where it makes sense for people to shave, such as swimmers reducing drag in the pool or surgeons preparing to make an incision. Culturally, men and women have shaved different parts of the body for different reasons, including ancient Egyptians and Greeks preferring total

Why don't we support women making whatever choices that they find empowering?

We are not "choice feminists." The entire premise of celebrating any choice at all, so long as it is made by a woman is innately demeaning, as it implies it's some sort of accomplishment for a woman to make a decision of any sort, and that

I Came Here for Helen, Who is This Forty Smith?

Fair question. Helen is the face and co-founder of You Are Fully Human. Forty Smith is co-founder, and a fellow writer and thinker who runs the website and writes articles. They have known each other all their lives and work closely together. Helen's primary focus has long been

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Affirmations

The Beatings Will Continue Until Morale Improves

People seem to think that a movement toward body acceptance for women is going to make the obesity epidemic worse. People who push back against the fake images of rail thin women with implants, no body hair, no cellulite, and no creases regardless of how they are positioned, are sometimes

Double Standards

"We're just used to seeing women humiliated."

Take almost any outfit marketed to women and imagine it being worn by Jeff Bezos.

Getting Started

Do you want to wait until:

the world stops objectifying women before you live your life in the body you have?

Welcome!

For those of you migrating here from Victor Chan's podcast, welcome! We will be publishing a slew or articles this weekend. Please subscribe to make sure you get them!