I am really struggling to give up [favorite beauty ritual]. Will it ever get easier?

We feel your pain! It is so hard to grow up in a culture that normalizes having texture-free skin, coiffed hair, bare legs and underarms (and bikini area), wearing restrictive/revealing clothing, having high heels as the only option for formal wear, dieting for thinness, etc., and then...not do those "normal things."

Forty likens this to how it feels if you have a strong habit of locking your front door when you leave, but you can't one day because your housemate is running five minutes late and doesn't have her key. It's not wrong, but it feels wrong because the force of habit is enormous. When it comes to beauty standards, there is the added layer of wondering if you will receive pushback for violating norms, or handling it if you do.

When you live in a culture where women's hairy bodies are routinely called gross/manly/apelike, etc, for simply....existing, it makes sense that you feel the weight of breaking the taboo. Similarly, if every time you skip makeup, you have people ask if you're sick (because you look so different than you usually do, not because there's something wrong with your normal face), you become conditioned to pay the tax at home, rather than in public. You'd rather spend the time conforming in the bathroom so you don't have to spend the time/pain being confronted over your appearance in public.

The good news is that it does get easier. Many women find that for all the appalling behavior directed at women's natural bodies online, few people will confront a woman in person. Many of us gear up to be attacked for our natural bodies, and then the attack never comes. If we do get comments, often from the women closest to us, especially mothers, we start to hear how fear-based their reasoning is. "If you don't conform to this standard, you will be cast out into the darkness and banished from the warmth and safety of our cave!" What you'll find is that you don't typically face any such thing, other than the odd person or two being uncomfortable with your standards and boundaries.

The more often you look in the mirror and see your natural face, the more you will get used to it. The more you live with your body hair, the more you will get used to it, and the more others around you will get used to it. One day, you will likely have a moment of looking at the standard level of makeup that you currently wear and suddenly think it looks bizarre. You will see adult women with bare legs and think it looks out-of-place. You can train your brain to accept your natural appearance over time.